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Uncle Fud's tales

" HOUSE BEHIND THE HOUSE "

   One of my recollections
  As I recall the days of yore
Is a little house, behind the house,
 With the crescent over the door.
 
Twas a place to sit an ponder
 With your head bowed low
Knowing you wouldn't be there,
 If you didn't haft to go.
 
   Ours was a three holer
 With a size for every one.
You left there feeling better,
After your usual job was done.
 
You had to make those frequent trips
  Weather snow, rain, sleet or fog
To the little house where you usually
  Found the Sears-Roebuck catalog.
 
 Oft times in the dead of winter,
The seat was covered with snow.
Twas then with much reluctance,
 To the little house you'd go.
 
With a swish you'd clear the seat,
 Bend low, with dreadful fear
You'd blink your eyes and grit your teeth
 As you settled on your rear.
 
  I recall the day Granddad,
Who stayed with us one summer
  Made a trip to the shanty
 Which proved to be a hummer.
 
   Twas the same day my Dad
finished painting the kitchen green
He'd just cleaned up the mess he'd made
   With rags and gasoline.
 
He tossed the rags in the shanty hole
   and went his usual way
 Not knowing that by doing so
He would eventually ruin the day.
 
Now Granddad  had an urgent call
       I never will forget !
This trip he made to the little house
     Lingers in my memory yet.

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He sat down on the shanty seat,
  with both feet on the floor
Then filled his pipe with tobacco
And struck a match on the out house door.
 
After the tobacco began to glow,
    He slowly raised his rear
tossed the flaming match in the open hole
    With not a sign of fear.
 
The blast that followed, I am sure
    was heard for miles around !
And there was poor ol' Granddad
     just setting on the ground.
 
The smoldering pipe was still in his mouth
    His suspenders he held tight
     The celebrated three holer
    was blown clean out of sight !
 
When we asked him what happened
     His answer I'll never forget.
 He thought it must be something
       That he had recently et !
 
   Next day we had a new one
  Which my Dad built with ease
with a sign on the entrance door
Which read: No Smoking, please !
 
Now that's the end of the story,
  With memories of long ago
Of the little house, behind the house
Where we went cause we had to GO !
 

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